By Candace Boggan

Archive for October, 2013

You Win Some and You Learn From Others

Sharon sits quietly in deep thought as the conversation with Gregory replays in her mind. “I guess you win some, and lose some.” She contemplated over those words and the level of truth behind them. The passionate pursuer realized for the first time that she now has a different outlook on this statement. What caused this sudden change she pondered? The journey-seeker considered her past, and all that has brought her to this point. Sharon asked herself “are they really losses if the non-wins are not part of the ultimate plan for my life? Couldn’t I now consider these experiences lessons, as opposed to losses? Certainly they helped to shape me into the person I am today, but I can’t honestly say I’m missing something in absence of them.”

If we look at the past as a lesson, it releases the weight and pressure that often accompanies the disappointing experience. They can now become tools to build upon, and no longer represent doors of despair. For example, that position you once wanted so desperately…. it wasn’t for you. Therefore, it’s not a loss after all. Had it been attached to your future, the door would’ve been open to you. Why not consider the situation preparation. It enabled you to practice your interviewing skills, tailor your resume for the position sought, and it enhanced your research abilities in the process. When you think about it, how could any of this be viewed as a loss? It simply requires a fresh perspective, and soon you’ll be able to say, “you win some and you learn from others.” There are no true losses if the particular situation in question was never meant for you.

The non-wins make the victories that much sweeter. Be encouraged, the future has plenty of “wins” in store for you…and a few more lessons too!!! In the mean time, celebrate and be grateful for the achievements attained.


Atlanta, GA

Don’t Let the Rain Spoil Your Parade

“The show must go on” exclaims Dallas, as the team of participants stand dripping wet in the rain. The performers feel disappointed, heartbroken and upset. Of all days, why today did it have to rain, Cammie thinks. The big performance is just minutes away. Hours have gone into preparation over the past few months. Soaked bystanders line the streets of the park awaiting the performance with raincoats and umbrellas in hand. Dallas notices that his team’s emotions match that of the weather, so he tries to comfort them. “Life is full of unexpected surprises, but you can’t allow the rain to spoil your parade.” He reminds the team of the countless hours that have been dedicated towards this show, and ensures them that a few raindrops won’t hinder what’s taken months to accomplish.

There is wisdom in this scenario that can be applied to life in general. How often do we plan for stellar conditions, only to be met with challenge after challenge? It’s the story of life. We have two choices in the matter; we can 1. succumb to the conditions and fold, or 2. learn to dance in the rain. Since we lack control in many of the situations that are presented to us, we have an opportunity to view the setbacks in a different light. How do we do this you ask? We must consider the positives that result due to rain. Rainwater causes growth, leads to rainbows that grace the sky, and is the major supplier for most fresh bodies of water on the planet. Our challenge…. is to view the bouts of rain brought on in life, in a luminous manner as well. What could the rain be potentially trying to teach us? We may gain a clearer perspective if we view more positively. Perhaps it has actually come to help and not distract us. It may provide just the growth that is needed for a future phase in life.

Next time the sky opens up consider grabbing your poncho and boots, and bask in the rain. Allow the drops to splash upon your face and refresh you! There is no need to let the raindrops spoil your parade!


Orlando, FL Disney World

Stepping Back, While Looking Ahead

It is impossible to successfully walk into your destiny without addressing the days of old. Our pasts have helped to shape us into the persons we are today. It is our failures and valleys that have proved to be our greatest teachers, not our mountain tops. Because of this, periods of reflection are necessary for continued development. Consider a visit “back” in time, and use it as an opportunity to uncover, as well as plan. Examine your attitudes, behaviors and circumstances during that period. What do you see? How can you better handle a similar situation in the future? What positive changes can you make the next time, should you find yourself face to face with that giant again? This exercise isn’t meant for you to make yesterday your dwelling place, but to better prepare you for what’s ahead. Use the missteps as the foundation for your future. Allow them to strengthen you and to provide guidance. A wise man learns from his mistakes, while a fool ignores them. Just as the rear view and side mirrors of a vehicle are smaller than the windshield, so should your view of the past be the same. It’s there for you to take a glimpse behind you, with the intention of you focusing intently on the promises ahead.  We cannot change yesterday, or wipe away the mistakes that linger behind us, but we can draw from them to help us reach a better tomorrow. There is wisdom in stepping back momentarily, as long as you continue to look ahead!


Tampa, Florida

Don’t Quit

It’s a typical hot, sticky summer Florida day. The clock on the counter is ticking as the clicking from shoes rush across the wood floors. The dreamer heads for the door with her computer in tow…in route to Starbucks. She likes to work from there to allow her creative juices to flow. The visionary knows that she has been created for so much more, so she makes the choice to pursue it!

It’s now several hours in and two chai teas later, as she begins to sigh. Writer’s block. The adventurer peers out the window hoping to draw from something. Puzzled by the fact that she so easily completed the 1st piece, the savvy traveler can’t understand why she’s so stumped over this one. The phone rings. It’s her best friend from Atlanta. She decides to pack up…she’s done writing for the day. She chit chats with her along the drive home, then decides to work on some other items upon arrival. As she engages in another project she notices that small voice inside keeps whispering, encouraging her to complete the unfinished piece. She hangs her head at the thought. She quietly says to herself,  “I don’t want to, I’m not sure of the direction of this piece.” She reluctantly complies, and decides to follow the guidance of the voice. She pulls out her laptop and begins to type. She struggles for the right words to finish. “Finally,” she exclaims, “it’s done,” so she sends it. Days later as the journey seeker checks her email, joy begins to fill her soul. She smiles and is overcome by emotion. Her piece, the very one she toiled to complete, would soon be published. Looking up, she screams loudly with gratitude over her decision to honor that voice. It was all worth it. “Thank You God!!!” She was so glad that she listened. She thought to herself, “He knows best.”

It was her reminder to trust that still, small voice and not to quit!


Think Big Again

Is it possible for one to think too big? As children we have the most elaborate and vivid imaginations possible. However, as life progresses, and disappointments come, we lose sight of what we once dreamed. We give ourselves a million reasons why we can’t do something, as opposed to coming up with a million reasons why we can’t afford not to! So life goes on and we often settle for less than what we could accomplish. We feel empty, unfulfilled, and as if something is missing.

So how can we fix this?

What would happen if we reverted back to the days of our youth when we allowed our imagination to roam free? What could we actually achieve this time if we tried? We’re adults now with years of experience (complete with both successes and failures,) we have more education and sharper skills. Think…what if you could actually climb that mountain that you once drew?  Though it’s been a number of years, you can actually retrain your mind to explore again. Let’s practice. Get a blank piece of paper,  a box of crayons or markers, and begin to dream like you did at 10. I know what you’re saying, “I’m a professional and a grownup…  this is ridiculous.” But, what do you have to lose? Draw, paint or sketch the wildest of thoughts that come to mind, then frame them. Next, identify your first step to make that dream a reality. If it’s flying across a remote area, no you can’t grow wings, but you can book flying lessons. Ask for help if you need it. Believe me when I say that your supporters want to see you reach your goal. What is the worse that can happen if you try? You could fail, true indeed, but we’ve already established that we’ve all been disappointed before, so you can handle it. What if….just what if this time, you actually landed, not only on your feet, but atop the highest mountain, face to face with your God-given dream. Imagine how that would feel???

Think Big Again. You may find that you actually like it!